Two days ago, one of my female students told me, “Ang ganda niyo po ba ma’am”. (Ma’am,you are really pretty.) Although,I wasn’t sure if my student was telling me the truth or she just said it because I am soon to release their grades, I feel flattered because,not so many people say I am pretty. I even felt my ear turned hot. However, the joy and the blush went gone when almost instantly one of her classmates contradict her, shouting “Hindi kaya!”(No, she’s not!) I wasn’t hurt.I even laughed loudly. The others who have heard it also laughed. We laughed not because we found being ugly funny but because of the manner she said the words. She really said it with all conviction. When the laughter subsided, the second girl who said I was not pretty promptly added, “She is not beautiful, but she is CHARMING.” Almost everybody in the classroom expressed their approbation.Again, I am not sure if they were telling me the truth or they were just saying it because I am soon to release their grades. I don’t even know if they understood what “charm” means, but I believe them. I do, because more often than not when I am being described by others they described me as charming instead of beautiful. I am happy with it. I think it’s a better compliment than being beautiful. Not all may agree with me but for me beauty without charm is useless, but what does charming really means?
Often we hear people say, “He won me over his charm” and “The place is really charming.” Based on those sentences, we might say charm is a characteristic of being able to delight, fascinate and attract other. In using it to describe person, it refers more to an inner feature than physical appearance. It emanates from the inside and exudes to made it evident and visible to others.
People who are charming are confident about themselves, but more than that they are warm loving people and they know how to connect with others. The characteristics a charming person possesses are not easy to break down. For me,though, charming people have the following characteristics.
- They know themselves. Charm isn’t bout being beautiful but being able to stand out of the crowd.Charming people are confident about themselves. It does’t matter to them how they look. What matters is that they know what they want and what they stand for.
- They smile often. People who smile radiates a positive aura to others and always look beautiful.I never seen a smiling face that doesn’t look beautiful.A smile in the face also makes you look that you are triumphant, successful, and optimistic. A smile in defeat shows grace. Smile is also transmittable. I don’t know the reason behind it, but I am sure you have experienced that when somebody smiles at you your tendency is to smile back.It is like you are being charmed and you say she/he is charming.
- They issue compliments generously. Charming people are often those that possess positive outlook in life. They see beauty in everything they see. That is why people see beauty in them also. People are like mirror they reflect back whatever feelings other show to them.
- They remember other people names. I feel special when someone remembers my name even though we hardly even know each other. I guess the same happens to everyone, especially when you are being called by first name. When people know each others name, they feel connection. It may not be a bond as deep as friendship, but it may lead into one.
- They genuinely care for others. I always find people who always talk about themselves as self-centered individuals. I know people who can talk for five hours about themselves. When I am with them, I feel tired hearing about their accomplishments and things that doesn’t involve me at all. Sometimes, I feel like I want to run away them. Every time I see them, I am always hesitate to start a conversation .Instead of compelling other to listen to them,charming persons know how to listen to others. They talk about themselves too but they never forget that the one they are talking with has their stories to share. They listen attentively.In addition,they ask how others have been doing. This trait is related with being friendly and warm. However, more than that this is associated with putting other first before yourself. Very seldom do we see people now that sets aside themselves for others and when we do see one we see him/her as attractive.
I am a teacher and it is easy to be charming when you are a one. Why? It is because as an educator I have to know yourself before I teach your students to discover themselves, I have to smile often to make them feel welcomed in the classroom and not threatened,I have to issue compliments generously to your students so they will be encouraged to do better, I have to remember your students’ name to make them feel belonged I genuinely care for her/his students.
It doesn’t necessarily mean though that you must be a teacher to be charming. Everyone can be charming.Just do the five ways.