On forgiveness

Note: Almost two years ago, I wrote this letter in my Facebook account. I was in pain while I did so. I thought I would never ever forget and forgive the persons involved but eventually time healed all wounds. I don’t know if she or he (my ex) ever had the chance to read this, but one thing is sure, today I can honestly tell I have forgiven them. God knows I do. Merry Christmas to me!

hehe 

To the Girl with whom my Guy cheated on me,

Today marks the first year when he let me ran through the rain while in tears.Today marks the first year when he ran to you and told you that you were better than I (Yes,that was two minutes after the rain episode.Imagine how fast he came running to you!And we only had a petty argument at that time!).Today was the same day he broke his promises to me and built his promises to you.Today marks the first year when you told me in my Facebook inbox that you were sorry for what have happened,that you had this sort of connection,while in fact he was, categorically, still mine.

I have promised myself to not think of those moments anymore. In a year, I have forced myself to believe that the wounds were already healed,that it could have been my fault and that I am in the process of forgiving you both. I believed I can.”Time will help me”,I told myself. The wisests claim that time heals and a gullible like me had easily believed.

A year has passed and here I am, I have not yet forgotten,nor I have forgiven you,nor been healed. I guess the wise people forgot to calculate how long it would take to put back one’s pieces together after being shattered,but even if they calculate they would never know. It is simply because just like you, they didn’t know how much pain you caused me.

You told me that years ago, you’d been cheated by your guy too, so you knew how I felt at that moment and that you understood. Well, I wanted to tell you Shame on you! And I would raise my middle finger as I said that.(That should have been for knowing how painful it was yet choosing to make me underwent the same pain so you could feel gratification at the thought that at last you had been chosen by a guy over another girl.) However, I was too confused of the situation to do that.

Girl, you made people believed that you were the victim in here.You ran to your churchmates,doctors and psychologists bosses, and told them I hurt you. I kept my mouth shut while you did.He left you too eventually though,then you lived your life miserably. You speak of God and forgiveness,while you were also busy creating “poser” account of me(not once but twice) for reasons only you know. While you did, I was busy helping my students collecting medals and awards and building their future. I poured myself into work,despite the silent pain which in truth went deep in my every core. As I kept on doing it,my passion for teaching grew better and my loved for my students deeper. For that miss M,thank you!

Thank you for reminding me that I can love more than one person( besides my family).Thank you for rekindling the passion for teaching.Thank you, for if not for you I wouldn’t know who my real friends are.Thank you for making me stronger.Thank you for teaching me that cheating is a choice and not accidental. Thank you for making me understand that love sometimes is not enough for a relationship to blossom. Loyalty,respect and trust should also exist. Lastly,thank you for everything positive that happened after that.

I hope you are doing better than me.Yes,I am hurting right now but I am too gullible to believe that pain makes people stronger and wiser.I am too gullible to believe that it wouldn’t take long from now and I will be completely healed.Perhaps, I am really an optimist.

Someday,you will find another guy to love,I hope there will be no girl who would do to you what you did to me. May God bless us both.

-The Girl you hurt

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